Demetri Martin, a guy who clams to not be gay in any way, shape, or form. Well I think a little differently. I mean dude have you seen his nose? It huge! And I'm not exaggerating, seriously, it's really big and uneven... I think he might be Jewish. But lately it's been bothering me because I think I might be afraid of him. At nights i dream of him torturing me, then tying me up and showing me struggling to break free in one of his lame little skits, and since i'm on TV everyone thinks i'm an actor. Then Demetri will make a really dum pun about the way i'm struggling. It frightens me so fucking much. Seriously.

I just don't see how i can stay strong when I see the screwy guys face with his shaggy hair cut and his "WTF" eyes. I feel like he might shank me with his Gordy neon boner. I need my will to live back. I must forget about my past so I can have a future.

(Below) This guy killed my mother, and raped my father... to death... LITERALLY! And I swear on my parents grave that I will destroy him. I have the skills and the blade, now I just have to find this bitch ass mofo cock sucking whore humping dad fucking mother killing ass licking... DOOOORRRRRRK!